WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
