dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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