The maid of honor just puked.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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