I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
