She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
