I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My life is pants optional.
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