So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
