Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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