is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pants are for mortals
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
