she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
