its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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