every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
