I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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