Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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