I love black thongs
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
