just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I will pee on everything he values.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
