curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
