Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
