Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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