I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
