just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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