I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
