do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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