The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
