Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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