he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
