Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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