Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
