i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
