And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
