ADVERTISEMENT

• (416): View more from Ontario

  Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.

  Fav 23 3321 940

  share tweet
  

• (864): View more from South Carolina

  we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me

  Fav 27 4237 1108

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (703): View more from Virginia

  grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it

  Fav 28 1016 4123

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.

  Fav 39 3787 5919

  share tweet
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"

  Fav 28 7247 1801

  share tweet
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

  Fav 6 2265 1232

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (843): View more from South Carolina

  The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.

  Fav 6 1785 876

  share tweet
  

• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.

  Fav 19 927 3597

  share tweet
  

• (956): View more from Texas

  The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.

  Fav 18 1249 4224

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.

  Fav 9 1406 652

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO

  Fav 5 1024 490

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (765): View more from Indiana

  So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.

  Fav 0 173 264

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?

  Fav 1 285 189

  share tweet
  

• (607): View more from New York

  Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam

  Fav 0 12 17

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed

  Fav 0 18 57

  share tweet
  

Randomize