ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
