just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
