Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
