Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just want to make out with him forever
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
