Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
