How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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