You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
