therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
