She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
