Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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