I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
