Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
