Fuck appropriateness.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
