I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
