is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
