I think I died a long time ago.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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