Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
