maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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