meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
